2020/04/16

Online Herpes Dating Related Resources（sites, reviews, blogs, groups...）

1.Herpes Dating Site

Positive Singles - No.1 Herpes Dating Site | No.1 Herpes Dating Community.‎

 The Largest Confidential Herpes & STD Dating Community and Support Since 2001. The World Herpes Dating Site. Meet Local Singles with Herpes. You are not alone. 100% Anonymous. Local Profiles. Meet Local Singles. Online Chat Room. Live Dating Advisor.

 Treatment Stories
Read stories from other members.
Share your STD treatment stories.

 Search Singles
Join and search by your criteria.
Find singles in your local area.

2.Herpes Dating Site Review

Top 10 Herpes Dating Website Reviews - HerpesDatingWebsite.net is one of the best review websites that provides reviews of the top ten Herpes dating websites on the web. It was established in the spring of 2014.

The Herpes dating websites listed here have all the useful functionalities of chat, forums, blogs, STD news, counselors, and so on where people with Herpes can share their experience and fears with others in a similar situation. 

3.Herpes Facts

There are a few authoritative websites of government, college, and organization where you are able to get facts about herpes, such as symptoms, treatments, risk, how common is herpes and even more.

4.Herpes Blogs

Most of following blogs are managed by personal people who have been living with this virus for a long time. You are going to know how to live with herpes and some remedies for herpes by reading posts in the blogs.
Herpes Land – I listed this blog here, just because it not only a place to know the facts about herpes, but also an online website where you are able to see some pictures of herpes.
Herpes.org – An online resource for help with herpes and HPV, with an FQAs page, you will find the answer of your question about herpes.
Dating with Herpes 1 2 – This is a blog for people who want to date with herpes simplex 1 or 2 on the Internet. A complete list of online herpes dating websites and tips for dating with herpes, you will definitely have a higher rate of finding a partner on the web.
Herpes.com – You are going to know better about herpes and get professional advice by reading the answers of some common questions about herpes. Besides, you can read other people`s personal experiences of living and managing with herpes and share yours.
Just Herpes – This blog is mainly about herpes remedies, dating and relationship tips for people who are living with herpes.
Herpes Cure HQ – A blog about herpes cure news, treatments, and real stories.
Herpes Goddess – This a blog about a single city girl who is living with Herpes Simplex Virus, and she has cleared up any misconceptions about herpes in her blog.
Pass the Herpes – Various people who have been diagnosed as herpes shared their experiences of living with herpes in this blog.
Living with Herpes 1 2 – This a blog about how to live with herpes and it is managed by me. By reading the answers of 24 common questions of herpes, you will get to know how to live this virus happily.
DatingwithHerpes.org – At this blog, you will find some herpes support groups, social groups and online dating websites specific for people with herpes. The “Herpes Scams” post will definitely help you to keep from herpes treatment scams, dating scams, and cure scams.
The Dynamiclear Blog – This blog is managed by the Dynamiclear, whose mission and vision is to reduce and eliminate Herpes outbreaks. However, I ONLY recommended you to read its blog posts since I cannot guarantee this drug too much.
Happy With Herpes – The personal blog of Gary, who has been living with herpes for years and shares all his information about herpes.
Herpes Vaccine – This is a Herpes Vaccine blog wrote by Bill Halford, who has been doing search for a safe and effective HSV-2 vaccine.
The Herpes Blog – The personal blog of Nanci, who was diagnosed with genital herpes when she was 17. She shared her herpes story and ways of managing herpes in The Herpes Blog.
Living with HSV – This is a good blog where you are able to know herpes statistics in the United States, UK, Australia, Canada, and the world.
Herpes Virus – If you are newly diagnosed with herpes, this blog wrote by Luanne will help you to deal with the social stigma which has been attached to people with herpes.
Love in the Time of Herpes – Same as the name of this blog – Love in The Time of Herpes, you will relax yourself while reading this blog.
Herpes Clinic – A blog of herpes facts.
Herpes Site – Established in 1994, HS provides resources, support, information on treatment options, self-help, diet, nutrition, dating, relationships, research and more.
HerpesOnline.org – If you have herpes and looking for information on herpes, HerpesOnline.org may be a good blog for you. It was established in 2002 and serve everyone who has Herpes.

5.Herpes Support Groups

Herpes support group is not online herpes dating website, and it focus on helping people with herpes to seek friendship, support and resources. So, it will not offer dating service. Normally, herpes support group is non-profit organization and run by volunteers who will hold local meetings and events.
Herpes Viruses Association – The Herpes Viruses Association (HVA) is a charity staffed by two people in United Kingdom, for sharing information to those with herpes and helping them to manage with this virus. The HVA will host meetings and answer the questions about herpes on the phone.
Toronto Herpes – This is a volunteer organization servicing the Toronto area since 1982. It provides a friendly environment where people with genital herpes are able to get information and share experiences with others.
Metro DC HELP – This is a support group servicing the Washington area, for helping people with herpes to deal with the emotional and physical problems. On the 2nd Monday of each month, it will hold a meeting.
Beantown Friends – This is a support and social group for people with herpes who want to make new friends, sharing fun activities and get information in the Boston.
LA HELP – A support center for people living with herpes who comes from Los Angeles area.
DFW Friends – If you are living with herpes and come form Dallas/Fort Worth, this is nice place for your to meet new friends who have the same condition.
Ohio Friends – A social and support group run by volunteers in Ohio.
Houston H Friends – Herpes support group in Houston for people with herpes to seek friendship and support.
Indy HELP – This website was created to help people living with herpes in Indianapolis area.
Colorado H Friends – A group dedicated to people with herpes in Colorado.
Seattle H Scene – This is a private support group for people with herpes in Western Washington, to make new friends and share experiences.
San Diego City HELP – A support group in San Diego for providing people with herpes with emotional support and reliable medical information.
Central Cali H Friends – It is not a dating website, so it will not offer dating service. This is a support group for people with herpes in Central California, to meet other people in the same area.
Don`t worry if there is not a support group in your area, since the Metro Detroit HELP, Charlotte H and Herpes.SupportGroups.com welcome every people with herpes from all over the world to join and share their experiences.

6.Herpes Forums

Herpes forum is a good place for people with herpes to share the similar experiences and meet other people who have the same condition, it will make you feel better about the herpes condition and lose the feeling of being alone.
Positive Singles Forums – Positive Singles is the best dating website for people with herpes, and its forums are quite busy, with more than 600 daily forum posts.

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How To Tell Someone You Have Herpes



Jenelle Marie Davis, 34, of Grand Rapids, Michigan, will gladly explain why having herpes isn’t the end of the world. But she didn’t always feel that way. It took years for Davis, founder of The STD Project, which encourages awareness and acceptance of various sexually transmitted diseases, and spokesperson for Positive Singles, a dating site for people with STDs, to come to terms with the diagnosis she got at age 16.

“My mom says the entire way home from my appointment, I cried and said no one would ever love me, no one would ever want me, and I’d never get married,” Davis tells SELF.

When she was diagnosed with herpes almost three years ago, Whitney Carlson, 29, a social media editor in Chicago, had a similar reaction. “I mostly thought, ‘I’m going to die alone, no one’s going to date me ever again,” she tells SELF.


Although herpes is one of the most prevalent sexually transmitted diseases, it’s shrouded in stigma. The infection, which is caused by the herpes simplex 1 and herpes simplex 2 viruses and passed via skin-to-skin contact, can show up as a cluster of sores on the mouth area or genitals. It can also be asymptomatic, so most people with herpes don’t know they have it, which is a large part of the reason why it’s so prevalent. Around two-thirds of people worldwide under age 50 have herpes simplex 1, according to the World Health Organization, and around one in every six Americans between ages 14 and 49 has genital herpes, usually caused by herpes simplex 2, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Both Davis and Carlson eventually moved past their initial panic and saw herpes for what it is: an infection many people have that happens to usually get passed through sexual contact. But all the self-acceptance in the world doesn’t erase the fact that a herpes diagnosis creates ripple effects of shame and social isolation, and the fallout is especially pronounced when it comes to your dating life.

Dating with herpes means telling potential partners, which can be scary. But it’s necessary.

 “It’s good to have the conversation because there is a potential risk of transmission,” Cherrell Triplett, M.D., an ob/gyn who practices at Southside OBGYN and Franciscan Alliance in Indianapolis, Indiana, tells SELF. Although telling someone you’re interested in can be intimidating, there are different ways to do it, and you might find one easier than the others.

In the past, Carlson would put the herpes conversation on the table quickly. “I don’t like wasting my time or getting my heart broken, so I think it’s a self-defense thing to almost always tell the guy on the first date,” she explains. “If they want to cut and run, I haven’t invested too much of myself in it.”



























But in the future, she thinks she’ll take her time disclosing as long as she gets it done before engaging in sexual activities that would put the other person at risk. “On a first date with this wonderful guy, I told him, and he couldn’t handle it,” she says. “I really wonder if it would have changed things to wait until we had connected more.”

On the flip side, she’s also dated “quite a few guys who didn’t care at all” even though she told them ASAP.

Davis usually holds off on disclosing to potential sexual partners that she has herpes until she’s known them for a bit. “I’ve always waited a little while before telling people, basically until I thought it was going somewhere,” Davis says. “This isn’t everyone’s experience, but when I started dating with herpes, I found out none of my partners cared.”

Although she sees that it’s intriguing to potentially avoid attachment—and thus heartbreak—by telling someone right out the gate, she makes an excellent point in favor of taking your time: “Nobody tells you all of the things about themselves that you usually don’t find out for a bit, like they have really bad credit or they’re a horrible cook, until you get to know each other.” Of course, it’s different with a health condition you can pass to someone else, but it’s worth noting.

How to tell your partner is up to you, but people with the virus say it helps to be direct, transparent, and patient.

 Although they tell potential partners at different points in the relationship, Carlson and Davis’ actual disclosure process is pretty similar. They both say it can be nerve-racking, but a few things help: sitting the person down in a place that’s comfortable for them, trying not to be too emotional, starting off with something like, “Hey, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” and bringing a wealth of knowledge to the conversation.

“I always try to be calm and not too clinical but explain that I have done the research,” Carlson says. Davis agrees, saying she fills people in on key details, like how herpes is transmitted, how transmission can be prevented, whether she’s taking medication that keeps the virus from multiplying, thus making it less likely to transmit, and how to find more information about the STD.

To top it all off, she also tells them they don’t have to make a decision about whether to continue seeing her—or even respond—right away. “If they have any questions, we can chat. But I usually peace out so they have their space to chew on it,” she says.

 STD-centered dating sites give people with herpes and other infections a way to skip awkward disclosures altogether.

 Davis says the number one question they get on The STD Project is about how to tell a new partner. On sites like Positive Singles and HMates, users are expected to be open about their diagnoses, but because they know everyone else there has an STD, too, it removes a huge barrier—and the question of whether the information will send a potential partner packing.

“It’s a great way to see you’re still the same interesting, sexy, desirable person,” Davis says. “It helps rebuild the confidence that gets hammered down when you get that diagnosis.” (She is a spokesperson for Positive Singles, but she’s never used any STD-specific dating site.)
































Carlson, who got back into dating via this kind of site after her diagnosis, agrees. “After I felt more comfortable with myself and the situation, I went on Bumble and started dating people in the more conventional way,” she says.

Some people put an incognito message in their profiles on general dating sites, writing out 437737—it spells “herpes” on a dial pad—in their profiles. Others just write, “I have herpes” in their profiles, and Davis says her friends in this camp still have plenty of people knocking on their online-dating doors.

So, if you have herpes, don’t worry that your love life is over. It’s not.
You can have great sex, find love, and also cut down on the chance of passing herpes along to your partner, Triplett says. Just keep these few things in mind:


  • It’s possible to transmit herpes even if you don’t currently have cold sores or a genital outbreak. “The virus exhibits something called asymptomatic shedding,” Triplett says. “Because of that, we strongly recommend you always use condoms to protect yourself.” You can also use dental dams, little latex sheets you place over the vaginal area during oral sex.
  • Suppressive therapy medications, like Valtrex, can lessen your chances of getting an outbreak or transmitting the virus. They won’t make it impossible, but combined with barrier methods, it’s much less likely, Triplett says.
  • The right person won’t view it as a deal-breaker. “Once you do tell them, if they want to be with you and accept you completely, you can work through it,” Triplett says.
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DATING SITES FOR PEOPLE WITH STDS ALLOW YOU TO CATCH MORE THAN JUST FEELS


Forget everything you know about sex: hook up apps are not just a cause of but also a solution to Australia’s rising STD rate.

Basically: STD’s are on the increase. And while, obviously, STD’s were around long before Tinder and Bumble, society’s increasingly liberal approach to sex (studies have shown young people are having less sex—but more ‘casual’ partners—than previous generations) has lead to an uptick in sexually transmitted diseases.

According to the latest health data, “In just a decade, the number of gonorrhoea cases annually has more than doubled… (while) in the past decade, syphilis cases have more than tripled, (and) cases of chlamydia have increased by 43 per cent,” (ABC Health).


This has led to the emergence of dating apps for people with STD’s like Positive Singles and Hope, which have taken the business model of PozMatch and HIVNet (which were founded in the 90’s and catered to singles with HIV/AIDS), and modernised it for our generation’s technological preferences and most prevalent STD’s—Herpes, Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, HPV and Syphilis.


How do they work? Essentially these websites (and apps) aim to provide a dating environment without stigma, that makes it easy to see each user’s STD status and preferences, so that people with an STD can avoid the awkward moment, two (or however many) dates in, where they have to casually drop the “btw I have herpes” line. Everything is honest and upfront, which—in theory—is great.

However the candid nature of these platforms comes at a price. Aside from phishing scams, various legitimate dating apps have been caught sharing their users’ information with third parties which, as you can imagine, didn’t go down well. Also, some claim that these apps don’t get rid of stigma, instead creating “STD hierarchies.”

“Troublingly, the sites seemed less likely to unite people with STIs than to divide them into cliques,” (Motherboard).

One user even went as far as to say that “I just felt like it was used to make people who felt bad about their illness feel better by putting other people down,” (Motherboard).

So although STD dating sites have, “Given their users reason to believe that testing positive doesn’t shut the door on authentic, transparent intimacy (Vice),” potential users should proceed with caution.
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STD Dating Sites That Are Free to Join

There's an art to finding an using a great free dating site, and it usually involves a lot of care, time and attention. Useful STD or STI dating sites aren't as easy to come by, so combine the two needs, and you may find yourself in a pickle.

I've either used or reviewed each of these STD dating sites myself to see what they're about and to make sure they're actually free. Here, you'll see them ranked in order of my favorite to least favorable.

STD Community


STD Community wants to offer its members a completely free dating site, with few (if any) ads. I didn't see any when I visited, but the owner's statement on their About Us page states they may add a Donate button at some point to help with the costs of maintaining the site.

This is the only site I encountered that allowed for more than either gay or straight sexual options. It's also the only one that didn't offer the option to say you don't have an STD or STI. It has a clean layout and lots of options (privacy groups, blogs, subscribing to another member's updates, photo albums with varied permissions), making it a favorite site on this list.


HMates

HMates offers one of the largest database of members amongst all of the STD dating sites, free or otherwise, with more than 15,000 members listed to date.

The cheery and straightforward layout hosts lots of standard features, such as chat and advanced search options. Everyone on the site either has HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus) or HPV (Human Papillomavirus) or doesn't mind dating someone with either diagnosis. Finding other folks on the site is quite easy, but you'll need to fill out your profile ​completely before you can contact anyone else.


STD Passions

STD Passions shares a database with many dating sites (such as HIV Passions and Herpes Passions) with the umbrella company being Passions.com. With this in mind, the database of members runs around 35 million people, but most of them don't have any STDs or STI's, so keep that in mind when signing up.

In fact, many of the people there may have signed up thinking it was a casual dating site or may have paid when you didn't have to. STD Passions is completely free and has a host of features and benefits for their members to take advantage of.

That's great if you don't mind being in a community of folks who may or may not have an STD, but you may not feel comfortable sharing your picture or searching for other members if you aren't sure what their health status is, either. If none of those things bother you, definitely check it out.


StopsWithUs

According to the site, "StopsWithUs.com provides a place where everyone can disclose to every partner every time, without an uncomfortable conversation or a fear of being stigmatized."

The site has a great layout, lots of search options, event listings, hot-or-not pages, videos, and more. The issue is that there aren't a lot of folks who have signed up yet, and all of the hot-or-not pictures and blogs are available for all to see, regardless of whether or not you've signed up. Many of the blogs are filled with spam, and the privacy options aren't up to snuff, which is why this site isn't the best on the list. N

Herpes Anonymous

Herpes Anonymous is completely free STD dating site that focuses more on the community aspects than the dating side of things.

It only takes about 3 minutes to sign up, and many questions are easily skipped if desired. Then you'll need to confirm your email address and wait for the moderators to approve your profile before you gain full access to the site. There are not a lot of folks on the site, however. When I searched, I only found 49 people listed in my province and none at all in my city.

Web Connections

I'm not a fan of dating sites that ask for a first name or those that don't allow you peruse anything at all without having signed up, first. With this in mind, Web Connections wasn't on my good side when I signed up, no matter how pretty their main page looked or enticed me to join.

I also had no idea it was an STD dating site until after I joined, and even then I had to look around during the profile creation phase to see that having an STD was an option to click on later on in the list. A few spelling mistakes in the profile section also got me grumbling, but I still persisted. The search function doesn't allow you to search by location, only by age and type of STD, which is a big miss and puts Web Connections at the bottom of my list of free STD dating sites.

Related reading ： Top 10 Herpes Dating Websites Reviews 2020
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The Ultimate Guide to Dating With STDs

Newsflash: Your dating life is not over just because you discover that you have an STD (sexually transmitted disease) or STI (sexually transmitted infection). In fact, the CDC estimates that nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur every year — that’s more than 2 million cases of the three nationally reported STDs (chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis) in the United States alone.

“Most people don’t realize they are at risk for STIs, but the truth is that anyone who’s ever had anal, oral, or vaginal sex is at risk,” says Julia Bennett, the Director of Learning Strategy at Planned Parenthood Federation of America. “In fact, about half of people will have an STI at some point in their life."


Everyone deserves to have a safe, healthy and pleasurable sex life, and being able to talk about safer sex, getting tested, and the risks of STIs is a really important part feeling empowered. “Talking about that stuff can feel challenging, but the most important thing is that we do talk about it,” notes Bennett.

Below, you'll find the ins and outs of STD, STIs, and everything in between. Enjoy the free education.

What are STDs and STIs?

 STDs and STIs are diseases/infections that are passed from one person to another through intimate physical contact including vaginal, oral, and anal sex. While there are many different types of STIs, the most common ones you’ve probably heard about are HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and syphilis.

Some are curable bacterial infections (gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis) as long as you seek medical treatment and take the proper regimen of antibiotic medication. “If you have one of these infections, get treated and tested again later if your provider says you need to,” says Bennett. Sometimes, you might have an STI and not even know it, as is often the case with chlamydia, for which symptoms might not appear for months or years.

Other STIs (like herpes and HIV) are viruses that stay in your system forever. For those, you can’t be cured, but you can treat the symptoms, and in many cases, can significantly reduce them or not feel them at all.

For HIV, a retrovirus, the drugs used to treat it are called antiretrovirals (ARV). Although a cure for HIV does not yet exist, ARVs can keep you healthy for many years, and greatly reduce your chance of transmitting HIV to your partner(s) if taken consistently and correctly, according to the HIV.gov website.

Once you have a diagnosis, it’s important to follow your doctor’s plan of care. “Left untreated, STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhea can cause serious health problems like PID, infertility, and potential deadly ectopic pregnancy,” it reads on the CDC website. Plus, without treatment, it’s more likely that you’ll pass the STDs to your partner.

The Right Way to Tell Your Partner That You Have an STD/STI
If you’re currently living with an STD/STI like herpes or HIV, that doesn’t mean you'll never land a date again. It does mean you have an added layer of responsibility when it comes to being open and honest with new partners.

The first step is to remember that having an STD doesn’t make you dirty or a bad person. “You’re a human who happens to have a health condition,” says Bennett. The best thing you can do to prepare for the conversation is to know your facts, and go into the chat with a calm, positive attitude.

“There are lots of myths out there, so reading up and being ready to answer questions your partner might have can be really helpful,” she adds. Make it clear that you’re telling them because you care about them. As for the right time, ideally, you’ll want to let your potential sex partner know before things get intimate. Before you bring up the subject, it might be a good idea to practice what you’re going to say out loud to yourself or with someone you trust. “This can help you figure out what you want to say so you feel more confident and comfortable,” notes Bennett.

It’s important to be prepared for different kinds of reactions. “Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and think about how you might feel if someone told you,” she says. “It can feel scary but having an open dialogue can also end up bringing people together."

What if Your Partner Tells You They Have an STD/STI?

 First things first: Remember to take a breath. Before you say something that sounds insensitive, this is someone you care about. A great way to start might be: “Thank you for telling me, I appreciate your honesty,” says Bennett. Then you can ask some questions about how they are living with the STD, what treatments help, and what you both can do to prevent it being transmitted.

Most important whenever you’re having the STD talk? “Avoid the blame game. It can be hard to tell or know when you got an STI or who you got it from. Be open, get tested, and get treated as needed,” she notes. If you’re hung up on how to talk to your partner if they have an STD/STI, check out Planned Parenthood’s informative YouTube series on “talking about safer sex, testing, and STDs.”

Having Sex When You or Your Partner Has an STD or STI

 Safe sex is always important, but it becomes increasingly vital when you and/or your partner has an STI. Bennett says that condoms and dental dams are the key products that can significantly reduce the risk of transmitting diseases during vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Oh, and don’t forget the lube. “A lot of people don’t realize that lube helps prevent condoms from breaking, and it reduces the chance of skin tears,” she says.

Just as important as using protection during sex is staying on course with your prescribed treatments. Especially in the case of bacterial STIs, finishing out your antibiotics is a must.

If you’re in a situation where you find out you have an STI/STD while you’re already in the middle of a relationship, Bennett suggests talking to your healthcare provider to see if Expedited Partner Therapy (EPT) is right for you. EPT is the clinical practice of treating the sex partners of patients diagnosed with chlamydia or gonorrhea by providing medications to the partner without having to be examined.

Dating With Herpes

 If you have genital herpes, you’re just like 1 out of 6 Americans. “It’s really common and is largely a skin condition, but there is a lot of stigma around it in this country,” explains Bennett. The bottom line is you can have herpes and still have a healthy sex life — dating with herpes is totally fine! “There are lots of things you can do to help prevent transmitting, like staying on medications and practicing safe sex," she adds.

Dating With HIV

 An estimated 1.1 million people are living with HIV in the United States. However, thanks to advances in medicine, for many people, the virus is practically undetectable, thus eliminating the risk of transmitting HIV to an HIV-negative partner through sex, says the CDC.

However, for people who are in an ongoing relationship with a partner who has HIV, a doctor may recommend taking Pre-exposure prophylaxis (or “PrEP” medication) for added protection, along with using condoms and other safe sex practices.


Dating With STIs

 If you find that it’s hard to meet new partners when you have an STD or STI, just remember you’re not alone. In fact, there are even dating sites and apps that can help connect you with people who also have STDs/STIs. These include:


Positivesingles

 The site and app boasts to be the largest herpes and STD dating community. With 15,000 daily active members and counting, informative blogs, and real-life stories, it’s not just about hooking up — it’s also a support and information network.


MPwH

 While this app/site is geared for helping those living with herpes find a dating match in their area, it’s also a great place to chat and discuss managing symptoms, dating life, and more. The big key here is that your privacy is 100 percent protected.


POZ Personals

 Brought to you by POZ, the print and online brand for people living with and affected by HIV/AIDS, Personals is the top dating service for people living with HIV or AIDS. Signing up is free, but there is also a premium membership option available.


Just as with other health conditions, it is possible to live a normal life — and date! — after you’ve been diagnosed with an STD or STI. As long as you follow your doctor’s treatment to the letter, maintain open and honest communication with your partners, and take precautions to practice safe sex, you can enjoy dating just as before. Get yourself back out there.

Related reading： Top 10 Herpes Dating Websites Reviews 2020 
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Best Dating Sites for People With Herpes




Dating can be hard in the first place, and approaching it with an STI certainly doesn't make it any easier. It’s one of those things you have to disclose despite there never really being a good time for it. In fact, the idea of breaking down your own walls and sharing something so sensitive, not to mention something that inevitably comes with a backstory, may make dating seem difficult or even impossible.

Even with endless knowledge at our fingertips, many still still lack widespread knowledge of STIs — specifically, herpes. For those who don’t understand the incurable but highly preventable herpes virus, the idea of dating someone with it may seem like an automatic no, when there’s actually a lot more to it than you were taught in your sex ed class.

First of all, HSV (herpes simplex virus) is more common than you probably think. It’s estimated that about half of the population has HSV-1, or what is widely understood as oral herpes spread just from oral contact. Beyond that, about one out of every six people age 14 to 49 have HSV-2, the latter which usually falls into the ‘traditional’ category of an STD. This strain is more often spread by more intimate sexual activities.

More important than how many people have the virus is the lifestyle that comes along with it. Just because someone has herpes does not mean he or she cannot date, or that they are tarnished in some way. An STI can be spread during an individual's first sexual encounter or simply because a past partner was not honest about their condition. Despite the outdated stigma our society carries around, having herpes in no way signifies the infected individual is dirty or promiscuous.

Dating with herpes may require more communication, self-restraint and creative intimacy, but it’s far from impossible. If you have HSV-2, it's important to be honest and tell your partner about the virus at an appropriate time. It shouldn’t be the first sentence that comes out of your mouth, but it also shouldn’t be the last before you jump into bed when passion can overtake rational thinking.

Luckily, the Internet breaks down some of the self and society-imposed barriers that come along with dating with herpes, providing a transparent medium to interact and get to know others without so much worry about ignorant judgment or responses. When you discover the world of online dating for people with herpes, you’ll find that the comfort and security of being behind a screen allows you to easily open up about your specific condition, and be upfront and blunt more effortlessly than you are likely to be face-to-face. The virus becomes less important and who you are as an individual —your personality, quirks, likes and dislikes — are elevated.

The sites below, catered to those with herpes, provide a communal feeling for its users. Just being on them may do wonders to increase your confidence in offline dating, too. More importantly, niche sites designed for people with herpes streamline the process of getting over the STD-talk road bump, allowing for fun, meaningful connections with others while remaining both safe and honest. When it comes down to it, if you have the virus, there’s really no reason not to explore such sites. Go ahead and save yourself some time in your dating life as you read on to discover the best dating sites for people with herpes.


Positive Singles
Debatably the most well-known dating site for people with STDs, Positive Singles has an impressive 1.5 million membership base and counting. The dating site may be so attractive to individuals because it focuses on matching you not just based on your medical condition, but based on other, more standard compatibility factors such as your interests, lifestyle preferences, and even star sign. Beyond the non-bias matching system, Positive Singles has a host of other features some casual hookup sites don't.

Positive Singles provides both transparency and privacy, with highlights such as the ability to see who has viewed your profile, the option to browse anonymously, detailed privacy settings that allow you to hide your profile based on a specific set of rules you create, a setting to hide areas of your profile (including the type of STD you have), and even the option to require a special password to open the app on your mobile phone. It also goes above and beyond to provide an immersive online dating experience complete with a 15-question profile section listing your answers, as well as the answers you’d like your match to have. There are also profile verification options, a Tinder-style swiping section, and even free one-on-one dating advisors — which usually alone cost more than any standard dating site membership. While it doesn’t constantly remind you that you are on a niche dating site (in a good way), it does provide some helpful resources and support including a care location directory, Q&A section, forums, and more.

Learn more at Positive Singles and read our full review here

MPwH
MPwH, which stands for ‘Meet People With Herpes,’ claims to be the original dating site for people with the virus. The inviting site is available for members with all sorts of relationships statuses, including those who are married and in a committed relationship, but is restricted for people only with HSV-1 or HSV-2. Profiles list what type of the virus you have, but it’s only a small field amongst over 25 other profile fields, including multiple choice and open ended questions. There’s also a reassuring profile verification option, along with a handful of privacy settings you can customize to your liking.

The herpes-only dating site feels and works much more like a traditional dating site, and is filled with an abundance of features that allow your personality to dominate your online presence. Video introductions and private albums allow you to make your experience on the site truly unique. You can sign up for a free membership and use about half of the features on the site, or upgrade to a paid membership to unlock over 30 additional features. It's not a big issue if you don't pay, but if you want to really get detailed in your searching or see others’ interest in you, such as who liked your profile, the upgraded membership is worth the price tag.

Learn more at MPwH

H-Mates
H-Mates is dedicated to connecting people with STDs for anything from friendships to serious dating. The site has a rather detailed sign-up form that looks much like one from its founding date of 2004. It has all the features of a basic dating site and operates just like one. There isn’t a ton going on behind the scenes here, with H-Mates providing more of a supportive online community where real connections can be formed. The site is not solely dedicated to people with herpes, but there is a profile field that lets you select the types of members you are looking to meet based on the type of STD(s) they have.

The options for self expression are impressive here, with the ability to upload an unlimited number of profile pictures (and a video introduction). You can browse and search to discover others, but there are a few other matchmaking features available after answering various types of questionnaires. You also get all the typical online dating ways of interacting, and even some rather unique ones, such as sending virtual kisses. The niche site doesn’t have the most modern interface or advanced matching algorithm, but it is 100 percent free to use. Going along with the ‘supportive’ theme of the site, H-Mates does accept donations, giving you access to premium features. With no paid membership, it somewhat equals the playing field for all members.

Learn more at H-Mates

Learn More Herpes Dating Websites


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What it’s really like to date with herpes

Dating is hard. Dating with an incurable STI is even harder.

The herpes virus is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the world. According to the World Health Organisation, two out of three people under the age of 50 are infected. Oh, and once you have it, you have it for life.

This sounds genuinely scary, but what’s it like if you know you have herpes but you still want to date and find love? Alexandra Harbushka knows the answer.


The 35-year-old manages a blog called Life With Herpes and is also the spokesperson for MPWH (Meet People With Herpes), the world’s biggest online dating community for people living with the diagnosis.

Since being diagnosed with genital herpes in 2011, she has dedicated her life to breaking down the stigma around herpes and providing resources for people struggling to come to terms with their condition.

She told Metro.co.uk: ‘Dating, period, can be difficult. We put so much pressure on ourselves and all of our insecurities are pushed to the surface when it comes to dating. Then when you are diagnosed with herpes your world comes to a halt and the number one fear is “will somebody love me”. It takes a lot of self-reflection and self-worth to begin the dating process.


After my diagnosis, I stayed in a relationship for much longer than I should have because I was too scared to go out and date. The fear of telling someone or the rejection was so strong. Once I got over that hurdle, then I was ready to begin dating. It was very hard to tell a guy I liked that I had herpes, hoping that they would still want to date me.’
Alexandra also admits that she has used the ‘herpes card’ to her advantage if there was someone she didn’t want to have sex with.

On the day she received a call from her doctor with the results of her test: ‘I was mad, crushed, confused, angry, depressed and it goes on and on. It took years of work to get me to the point where I’m now.

‘Now it’s not a big deal at all. If I get an outbreak I know how to treat it and help the outbreak heal as fast as possible. I know that it’s just a skin disease and it doesn’t play any role in my life.’


What is herpes? 

Herpes is split into the HSV-1 virus, also known as herpes simplex or oral herpes, that causes cold sores and mouth ulcers, and HSV-2, the genital herpes virus characterised by painful red blisters around the genital region.

Unfortunately, there is no cure for herpes. The virus can remain dominant for months or years at a time, and it’s estimated that most people with either condition don’t even know they have it.

Is it possible to successfully date and have relationships even though you have an incurable STI? Alexandra definitely thinks so.

She and her husband Bill worked together for six years before beginning to date and were married in November 2017.

‘When I found out I had herpes, I had to go back to the office and when I walked in, he asked me what was wrong. I told him and cried on his shoulder. He told me that everything will be ok and that he considered me family so if there is anything I ever needed, I should call him.

‘Fast forward to when we began dating, I initiated the conversation about having herpes and asked him if he remembered. He said yes and he didn’t care. He loves me and that’s all that matters.’

When is the best time to let a potential partner know that you’re carrying the herpes virus? Alexandra says that it depends on who you are and what you want from the relationship. 

‘Some people disclose ASAP and some disclose months down the road, it’s totally up to you and every personality is different. If you really don’t give a f*** about the outcome then you will most likely tell them early and get that out of the way. Or sometimes people just want to lay it all out on the table to weed out prospects. 

‘Others prefer to take their time, to see if they really like the other person and to make sure they want to be in a relationship. It’s totally up to you and there is no time limit on when you have to tell them. However, you do have to tell them if you are going to expose them to it. If you are ready to take your relationship to the next level then yes, you absolutely need to tell them.’ 

The key rule for herpes sufferers seems to be behaving responsibly when it comes to making potential sexual partners aware. 

Alexandra goes to on to explain that for her, it all depended on what her intention was with the date. 

‘Some dates I never planned on sleeping with so I never told them and never slept with them. I decided that if a guy didn’t want to be with me because of herpes then he was not worth my time. 

‘If it was someone I wanted to have a serious relationship with then I waited until I knew we were both on the same page. Sometimes it would be three-to-four months before disclosing. But keep in mind, I never slept with anyone without disclosing that I had herpes.’

Can you still have a satisfying sex life when living with genital herpes? Charities and herpes associations agree that it’s completely possible to have fun, loving and romantic bedroom frolics with your partner.

Marian Nicholson, Director of the Herpes Viruses Association & Shingles Support Society in London, told Metro.co.uk: ‘Since genital herpes is in fact “a cold sore down there”, the widely-held misconception that it will be a barrier to a full life is sad. 

‘No one with a facial infection would expect it to make any difference, they are not told to kiss through a sheet of cling film! 

‘We ran a survey of our members asking how many potential partners they had talked to about this – and how often they were rejected. There was an 83% acceptance rate for both men and women, meaning that fewer than 1 in 5 partners wanted to discontinue the relationship.’ 

However, the risk of transmitting the disease is always present. HSV-1 and HSV-2 are both highly contagious, and even if a sufferer is not experiencing an outbreak, the virus is still present in their body.

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